Did god choose to be god?
…Or was god made god?
And if god was made god, and agreed willingly, is god then not a figure of ego?
Even if god was not made, but always was, is god then not aware of his identity?
Is god then not aware of his faculties…his omniscience and infinity?
Does god not enjoy his power?
And if god-made-god does not enjoy power, and agreed to be god only grudgingly, with hesitation, how can we trust that he will do well at executing a thing which he does not enjoy?
If god went along in happy agreement, on the other hand, is it then not logical to be suspicious of god, just as it is logical to be suspicious of one who enjoys his power?
And if god agreed to be god grudgingly…what are we to think of him who does not enjoy his power? What are we to think of god who experiences distaste, and winces at the execution of power?
Woah, that we should feel sympathy for god, that we should imagine the pain of despicable work. Woah, that we should forgive god for his mistakes.
…and if god has made no mistakes, must god then not be inhuman…must god then not be robotic, and cold?
Do we then not worship an impassive, errorless thing?
If, on the other hand, god commits and understands error, is this human god then not evidence of our self-aggrandizing megalomania?
…because of course we are like our god and our god is like us…of course!
And if god did not choose to be god, if he did not agree to be god, doesn’t this mean that god is unconscious of himself? Doesn’t this mean that god does not know himself?
And if god is unconscious entirely…
…is god not like things which have no consciousness?
…is god not like the dark night, like the space around us, like the rock under our feet?
And if if god is like the rock under our feet, like the core of the earth, like its mantle, like its crust, like the planet itself and the air around it, like all the planets, and the space between them, like the stars, like the universe itself, what is the difference between that which is god and that which is not god?
If the rock is like god, and you are like god, is god not like everything which exists along this continuum?
And what if there is no difference between that which is god and that which is like god?
Is god then not everything?
Is god then not nothing?
Is god then not simultaneously everything and nothing?
And if god is simultaneously everything and nothing, what does it matter to speak of god?
For with god, nothing can be articulated; nothing is distinct…
…and where nothing is distinct, all languages become a useless babble.
Where there is language, there is a place where god cannot be explained.
Now…if god is conscious, and you and I are conscious, do you and I not share properties with god?
…And if consciousness is an essential property of god, are we then not great egoists to think we, too, must necessarily possess this essential property?
And yet, and yet…what if you and I have nothing to do with god, with the qualities of god?
What if we are distant from god…like a light year…or a star?
What if knowing god is in fact nothing more than perception itself?
…if god neither chose, nor agreed to, his identity and role, then what is it to be something which was neither agreed upon nor chosen?
Is this not a matter of one’s essential nature? ….a matter of features which one did not choose?
And what of this not choosing? What is this not choosing by which we are what we are? Are we not defined by things which we did not choose, and cannot change? Is not choosing (in the sense of not choosing where one has no power to choose) the same as god?
Is it then not in god’s nature to be god without knowing beforehand, without accepting or choosing to be god?
And if it is in god’s nature to be a god, does this not imply that god is not entirely the master of himself; does this not imply that there are aspects of god over which god has no control, aspects whose nature god must learn and ascertain…aspects which he must discover and understand?
And if there are aspects of god over which god has no control, what is the origin of these aspects? Is the origin of these aspects not the true locus of god?
Is not the true locus of god not the locus of control, but the locus of things which cannot be controlled?
If the true locus of god is not the locus of control, and if all things are controlled or not controlled…
…is not the true locus of god the locus of everything which cannot be controlled?
And if that which is essential is the same as that which is not controlled (as is the case with our nature, our essential features), is it not therefore inessential to control things…and is it not therefore inessential to act like god…is it not therefore ungodly to act like god?
Is god, therefore not like himself?
And if god is not godly when he is like himself, is it not logical to look for god in ungodly things?
Is it then not logical to look for god where humans scrabble desperately for control, where violence rules, where the most awful things occur, where blood saturates the earth, where decay fills the air?
If god did not choose his role, and does not know, or is not able to act upon his nature, is he then not a slave…is he then not one who is mastered?
And if we believe god must be enslaved by his duty, is it not our duty to enslave him?
Are you and I not the slavemasters of god?
And if this is not the case, if god fights to be free, or stays quiet that he may survive, is it then not our duty to emancipate him, so that the battle may be won, so that god may speak?
Who are we to give voice to god?
No, god is our master!
God is a benevolent dictator!
Luck, only luck, that he is benevolent!
Woah, that we experience the luck, sheer luck, of god’s benevolence!
God is elected.
…and all the world is political, and religion is politics, and politics religion, so that all is delusion, and emotion, entangled in relations of power…so that all is a labyrinth, so that all is intertwined, so that nothing is true!
And if god does fight his master, if he does struggle against his enlavement, and try to break free, is it not true, then, that we worship a god who is fighting against the way of the world, who is trying to break away from what we have made him?
And if god does not fight, do we then not worship a god who does not stand up for himself, who does not speak?
And if we worship a god who sings, do we not worship one who sings so that he may survive the identity we have given him?
And if god enslaves us instead, does this not mean that we worship a master?
Is obedience not frightening enough…let alone worship? Is it not foolish servitude to worship a master? Is the worship of a master not oblivion, and ignorance? Is belief in god then not oblivion, and ignorance?
Is denial of the masterful god not the beginning of questioning, of a setting out on the path to truth?
Does god not disguise himself, in the end, as this thing we call “nothing”?
Did god make himself god, or was he made god?
If he made himself god, why did he do it?
If he was made god (or if he always was, and always will be), does he know his own true nature?
If he does know, where does he stand in relation to it?
And what if he does not know?
…What is it to be ruled by an unconscious god?